Mixed Grill

Just a few thoughts on recent items in the news of late.

Major Hasan’s potential for mass murder was ignored by the Army prior to his attack at Ft. Hood, despite glaringly obvious clues. His many radical public statements and comments to associates (duly reported), his attendance at a radical mosque frequented by the 9/11 perpetrators and attempts to contact Al Qaeda should have rung some serious alarm bells. Nobody did a thing. The only explanation seems to be political correctness. At all costs we must not offend any Muslims.

This tendency continued even as the bodies were being hauled away. Commentators in the MSM carefully avoided the obvious and refused to call the slaughter an act of Islamic Terror even in the face of the facts and that Major Hasan had shouted “Allahu Akbar” as he fired over 100 rounds into the unarmed troops. The contortions were almost funny as the talking heads explained that Hasan had “snapped” and perhaps suffered from “pre-traumatic stress disorder”. Since Hasan had never been in battle (or near it) he presumably contracted this new syndrome from anticipating his deployment or from talking to troops who had seen action. Absurd.

The degree to which the MSM will go to avoid calling a spade a spade was humorously on display last night when Bill O’Reilly interviewed Sally Quinn, veteran reporter of the “Washington Post”. You should watch the interview. He had to practically pin Ms. Quinn to the wall and throttle her to get her to say the words “Muslim terrorist”.

President Obama did not look very good in his handling of this tragedy either. Attending a conference with American Indians he stepped to the microphone to speak to the nation about the attack. Before getting to the Ft. Hood incident he spent several minutes discussing the conference and giving “shout outs” to several attendees. Almost as an after thought he brought up the Ft. Hood shootings. Then he choppered off to Camp David for a relaxing weekend. Meanwhile, with cameras and publicity prohibited, George and Laura Bush quietly drove to Ft. Hood and met with the victim’s families. This is what a Commander-in-Chief does instead of slipping off for a weekend of R & R.

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In case you missed it, the House rammed through a 1990 page health care reform bill with two votes to spare, including one lone Republican. 39 Democrats voted against it. The Dems spent a lot of time figuring out who would be permitted to vote NO and still get the thing to pass. Surely the Democrats in the safest districts (those likely to be re-elected even if caught on video snorting crack while sodomizing a sheep) voted YES with little fear. Those in districts carried by McCain or considered conservative were given a pass. This measure is highly unpopular and will prove more so as the taxes, penalties and coercion kick in. The cynical Democrat calculus is that short- term losses are acceptable, and if they can once get this implemented, will ensure a left of center government forever.

They are nervous though. The public gets ever more angry as the unemployment rate keeps climbing (10.2%) and the debt piles up. The health care bill costs over one trillion dollars even with the increased taxes, and forcing the unwilling to purchase health insurance or face penalties, or even imprisonment. It has people more than a little concerned. Now it’s up to the Senate. They have not even released the bill yet and if Harry Reid is to be believed, it will mirror the House bill. The question remains: if the Democrats don’t have the 60 votes, will they pass the thing by “reconciliation”, the parliamentary procedure requiring only 51 votes? While it’s a highly questionable maneuver, Reid may do it as a parting gift to the liberals as it seems likely the good people of Nevada may toss him out next November.

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As the health care train trundles down the tracks, those busy Democrats in the Senate are quietly preparing the Kerry/ Boxer version of a cap and trade bill. You might remember that the House has already passed its version. Cap and trade is a huge tax on an already strained economy that is struggling to rise out of a serious recession.

Why the Democrats figure hanging these two anchors around the necks of the taxpayers at this time is a good idea befuddles me. I guess just as the health care bill is not about improving health care or making it more affordable, the cap and trade bill is not about reducing carbon emissions. Both of these boondoggles are about power and control. And, if anyone thinks the government can effectively run health care or the energy industry, you have not communicated with the Social Security Administration or the IRS lately. Social security and Medicare are headed for bankruptcy and Amtrak and the Post Office on life support. If you think these new initiatives are a great idea, you need a reality check.

Fox Hunt

A couple of times in recent years my liberal friends have offered without any prompting from me, a disparaging comment about Fox News. In both cases I responded, “How would you know? You’ve never watched it.” That ended the debate because, of course, they never had tuned into Fox News.

In the past week the White House and George Soros funded Media Matters all came out attacking Fox News, the latter with a “Fight Fox Campaign”. White House advisor and former campaign manager for President Obama, David Axelrod, appeared on one of the Sunday talk shows and opined that Fox was not actually a news organization. Rahm Emanual, White House Chief of Staff appeared the same day on another show and uttered essentially the same exact words. Anita Dunn, White House Communications Director said the same exact thing. Gee, what a coincidence. The previous Sunday Obama appeared on all five morning talk shows…. Except Fox.

What the Hell is going on here? Actually it’s quite simple. Fox is the only network reporting on some of the radical people Obama has chosen to be part of his collection of “Czars”, positions within the White House reporting only to BHO, unconfirmed by Congress and accountable to no one. They have also reported on the unlawful activities of ACORN, the community organizer and receiver of government funds and SEIU, the radical union that heavily supported BHO’s election.

None of the other news organizations bothered to report any of this stuff. In fact, readers of the NYT and viewers of the major networks were confused when Van Jones, the “Green Jobs Czar” was forced to resign because of videos of Jones admitting he was a communist and other racist and absurd comments. They were confused because the major outlets had completely ignored the controversy and had failed to report that the guy was on his way out!

Messrs. Axelrod and Emanual both observed that Fox has a “point of view” ie. They are conservative and therefore should not be taken seriously. What a joke. Like MSNBC, CNN and the NYT do not have a distinctly liberal point of view? ABC, NBC and CBS are similiarly left wing and all were cheerleaders for Obama during the election and haters of GW Bush during his Presidency. They failed in their job of vetting this man during the election and since Obama took office the MSM have been fawning over him like a love struck teenager. None of the late night comedians do any jokes about Obama and when SNL did a mildly critical skit about Obama it caused the Left to go crazy. CNN even did a “fact check” on the skit.

Only Fox and talk radio have been questioning what he’s doing and looking into the CVs of the radicals he’s appointed to be his “Czars”. BHO has appointed 30 of these folks at recent count. Here’s a sample of some of the people closest to Obama and the positions of power and influence that they hold:

Valerie Jarrett: Senior Advisor and closest confident to BHO. Former advisor to Mayor Daley in Chicago. She has ties to communist Frank M. Davis and has been linked to left wing radical causes.

Van Jones: Former “Green Jobs Czar”. Embraced communism when in prison. Professional radical. Resigned.

Ron Bloom: “Manufacturing Czar”. Former union executive, has made anti-capitalist statements and said Mao Tse Tung is a political guide.

Anita Dunn: White House Communications Director. Also said Fox “… is not a news organization”. Quoted as saying Mao is “one of the two political philosophers she turns to…” (Mao, you might remember, was the dictator of China responsible for the death of 70 million Chinese.)

Carol Browner: “White House Director of Energy and Climate Change Policy”. One of 14 leaders of Socialist Internationals “Committee for a Sustainable World Society” calling for One World Government.

Cass Sunstein: Head of “Office of Administration and Regulatory Affairs”. Argues for bringing socialism to the US and lends support for communism.

Kevin Jennings: “Safe Schools Czar”. Homosexual who has worked to teach gay topics in schools including elementary schools. Ties to NAMBLA (you can look that up).

Mark Lloyd: “Diversity Czar for the FCC”. Praises Hugo Chavez for his stifling of the press during Venezuela’s “great” revolution. Big fan of Saul Alinsky and government control of all media.

And this is just a partial list.

In one of my blogs right after Obama was elected, I said he would surround himself with radical leftists from the fringes of society. Even I had no idea he would be brazen enough to recruit a bunch of left wing kooks this far out of the mainstream.

It seems pretty clear that this attack on Fox News is an attempt to intimidate the rest of the media into continuing to keep silent and not question what the Czars are up to. With Obama’s approval ratings falling rapidly (51% as of 10/28/09) they want to keep the news of their radical agenda under wraps long enough to ram through socialist policies unpopular with the electorate. And, of course, with his Czars he can use regulations and mandates, avoiding the messy business of passing laws.

This guy is even more dangerous than I thought.

Ann Coulter: Too High Above Cayuga’s Waters

Generally I enjoy watching and reading Ann Coulter, the conservative author and commentator. She’s often quite funny and I do relish that she gets under the skin of liberals with ease.

On the other hand, she occasionally drifts into the outrageous just, it seems to me, to get attention. Ann also seems to be too impressed with her own considerable intelligence and suffers under the illusion that she is just as attractive as the “info-babes” on Fox News. Sorry Ann.

When Coulter decides to go after someone she becomes caustic and very, very personal. She displays outright distain for Arthur Sulzberger, Jr., the publisher of the New York Times.

Of course, Sulzberger, whom she calls by his nickname “Pinch”, inherited his position at a young age, the NYT having been controlled by his father and grandfather for the past 150 years.
In recent years under the leadership of Pinch the Times has lost its position as the “paper of record” by becoming a left wing rag.

Along with credibility the Times has lost readership and boatloads of money. Bankruptcy has only been avoided by the $250,000,000 infusion of cash by Carlos Slim, a Mexican billionaire.

OK, Pinch is a lousy businessman and a schmuck. But, Coulter’s attacks have been very personal, calling him stupid for failing to get accepted to Harvard and getting into Columbia only because of family connections. Out of bounds? Yeah, I think.

Coulter has also focused her sharp tongue on Keith Olbermann, the host of MSNBC’s “Countdown with Keith Olbermann”. Before I get going here, let’s be clear. I think KO is a dip shit and an extreme liberal bomb thrower. I believe MSNBC has sold its soul to the Democrats and should be ashamed to call themselves a news organization. Having said that, I think Coulter’s attacks on Olbermann are too personal and over the top.

Chief among Coulter’s charges is that Keith’s frequent references to his Ivy League education at Cornell ring hollow because he went to the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences at Cornell. She calls the college a “bovine management school” and claims the only people who can legitimately call themselves “Cornellians” attended the College of Arts and Sciences. This likely shocked those folks who attended the Engineering, Architecture and other fine colleges that comprise Cornell.

It certainly came as a surprise to me, a graduate of said College of Agriculture and Life Sciences in 1964. While yes, the CALS does offer courses in agriculture and related fields, it also offers majors in pre-med, pre-vet and dozens of other majors including: biology, sociology, economics and engineering. I got my own degree in Marine Biology. Olbermann got his degree in Communication Arts.

Ann also ignored that students in the CALS School take many of their courses in the “Arts School” where they compete head-to-head with the “real Cornell students”. Note to Ann: We often kicked their Asses, thank you.

The big advantage for students who are residents of New York State is that you can attend the CALS and other state supported colleges at Cornell and pay 1/3 of the nearly $30,000 per year tuition for the same education. For guys like me who were self-financing a college education, this is an opportunity not to be ignored.

Coulter also conveniently overlooks that acceptance to Ivy League schools may not always be based on pure academic achievement alone. Legacy students, those whose parents attended the university are given special consideration, as are minorities and athletes. The Ivies pride themselves in not giving athletic scholarships but let’s get real. If a great high school running back with less than stellar grades applies… Well, adjustments and exceptions can be made. When I was there nearly our entire hockey team was comprised of Canadians. Great students? Maybe.

Ms. Coulter’s attacks on Olbermann are justified on the basis of his view, opinions and some of the asinine things he says. But, denigrating everyone who attended the other fine colleges at Cornell except the “Artsies” smacks of snobbery and the very elitism she so often disparages.

Horsing Around

I was never very fond of horses. My uncle had a couple of workhorses on the farm where I spent a lot of time in my youth.


They were huge, especially for a kid, and ill tempered. I suppose if you had at pull wagon loads of manure and hay around all day you too would have reason to be a little grumpy.

My dislike for the horses started when one of them walked into his stall while I was sitting with my back to him on the outer edge of his manger. He reached over, clamped his huge teeth into the cubby right cheek of my ass and hoisted me into the air. He then dropped me on my face on the barn floor. His partner in the traces was no better. One day he chomped on to my bicep and gave me a nice colorful bruise to remind me to steer clear of him too.

My cousin had a “riding horse”, really a broken down nag that we occasionally tried to ride. Getting the horse to go away from the barn was nearly impossible but once aimed in the direction of the barn, she turned into Seabiscuit. Next stop? The stall. And be sure to keep your head down or lose it going through the barn door at top speed.

One of my jobs consisted of hooking up this tired steed to a small wagon and taking the milk cans out to the main road, about one mile distant. Although the horse surely considered herself retired, she did not seem to mind these early morning plods down the muddy track to the main road and back. She knew the drill and did not require much guidance from me.

Although I tried with little success to ride my uncle’s heifers my main goal in life at that time was to get a ride on Cy the pig. Cy lived in a large enclosure filled with bushes, small trees and tall grass. My strategy: to sneak into the enclosure and lie in wait for Cy to stroll past. Cy tipped the scales at about the same weight as the average NFL nose tackle and his back stood taller than my waist.

While Cy, like most pigs, possessed keen intelligence, he had poor eyesight. I had discovered that if I surprised him and got started scratching his back, he would stand still long enough for me to swing up on his back. I’d grab his ears we would be off on a brief but exhilarating ride. He’d usually quickly wipe me off on one of the bushes or small trees that populated his pen and I doubt that I ever came close to the mandatory 8 seconds that constitutes a competitive bull ride. My Grandma never seemed pleased when I returned to the house covered in dirt and pig crap after a successful ride on Cy.


It would be many years before I once again climbed on the back of anything that had four legs instead of a motor. I went on an elk hunting trip in the mountains of Montana and riding horses would be part of the experience. They put me on a gentle and obedient horse and off we went. I figured the horse knew what he was doing so I let him do it. We were on roads, well-maintained trails and open country. My valiant steed simply followed the guide’s horse. No problem.


This trouble free experience lulled me into complacency when some years later I scheduled a moose hunting expedition to Northern BC with my friend Daniel from Paris. This hunt would also require the use of horses. Based on my Montana expedition, I had few worries.

When we arrived I noted that the horses for this trip were considerably larger than the sure-footed ponies we used in MT.

The guide rode a young horse that he had “in training” and Daniel and I drew a couple of beasts supposedly accustomed to dealing with novice riders like us. As we headed off into the forest on that first morning, my first thought was, “You can’t take horses in there. There is no trail.” We forced our way through thick brush and numerous logs, some nearly belly high on the horses, blocked the faint track through the dense pines.


The guide led with Daniel in second place and me riding rear security. When we came to a log the horses would carefully step over. Well, no problem. We came to a two-log combo and the guide’s horse stepped over with no issues. (How they knew what their back legs were doing remained a mystery to me.) Daniel’s horse followed suit. My nag hesitated for a second and then jumped clean over both logs. Since I sat nice and relaxed in the saddle, when he landed my crotch jammed forward against the pommel crushing Mr. Happy and his two fuzzy friends. I gave silent thanks that my procreation days had long since past. But, the pain….!

With my eyes watering we rode on for some miles, the guide stopping periodically to give the long mournful cry of a cow moose in heat. Didn’t work. No bulls came running.

As we started back the guide pointed out a tree where “a grizzly had marked his territory”. Deep gouges raked the tree from the grizzly’s massive claws. Impressive. Earlier we had seen a grizzly track the size of a serving platter in some soft sand. Imagining the size of the critter that made those tracks and gouges convinced me I had no interest in meeting up with him, especially astride a horse and with my rifle securely tucked away in the scabbard.

As we rode on in single file and entered a large clearing the guide’s horse suddenly went nuts, rearing, jumping and bucking. Daniel’s and my horse immediately took off, racing side by side toward the far end of the clearing. It was like the final stretch of the Belmont, except that we were shouting and hauling on the reins to get the horses to stop. I doubt we had much influence but we finally came to the edge of the clearing and the horses stumbled to a nervous halt. As the guide approached with all three horses dancing around and clearly agitated, I asked him, “What the Hell was that about?”

“There’s a grizzly tracking us up on that ridge. The horses got a whiff of him.” He said.

“Oh.”

The horses stayed skittish all the way back with their ears twitching this way and that and their eyeballs rolling. Bringing up the rear, my eyeballs were doing a bit of rolling too as I kept a wary eye on our back trail.

Finally we came to a small stream where the horses would have to drop down about 6 feet to the streambed to get across. The guide and Daniel’s horses carefully negotiated the drop. I should have suspected it. My horse never hesitated and just jumped the thing. We landed with a jolt. Unprepared and relaxed I once again jammed my crotch into the pommel and nearly fell off the horse in pain. Two weeks after we returned home I still walked gingerly.

I think the moral of this story is: if you have a choice, take a 4 wheeler… or walk.

The Doctor Will See You Now….. Finally

My three faithful readers may have been curious why I have not weighed in on the contentious health care reform debate that has been raging in recent weeks. Been traveling folks. In late July we flew to Michigan to visit our friends Pete and Shirley for a few days before riding together to Buffalo where Pete and I attended our 50th high school reunion. Yeah, I know. I find it hard to believe myself.



Loi and I then drove on to Schenectady to visit her brothers and families. The day after we got back I headed back across the border for the weekend gathering of the annual UDT/SEAL (NW Chapter) Assn. Yesterday we finally got back to Whistler…. Just in time for rain and 50 degree temps.



I have been paying attention to the debate and the unfolding drama as Obama and his left wing allies try to ram “health care reform” (later focus group renamed “insurance reform”) down the throats of Americans. Obama proclaimed it had to be passed before Congress went home for the August recess even though the final version of the bill had yet to be completed by either the House or the Senate. What finally emerged was HR 3200, another 1100 page behemoth that the President himself had not read even as he tried to sell it.



Of course, none of the esteemed legislators had had a chance to read the Stimulus bill, the spending package or the Cap and Trade bill either. John Conyers (D-MI) laughed when asked if he’d read the bills and opined that no one reads them and if they did, they’d need two lawyers at their side to figure them out. Hilarious. The Obama Team knew that if anyone, especially the citizens, actually had a chance to read what he intended to do to American health care and American freedoms that resistance would grow.



Democrats have enough votes to ram this thing through without a single Republican vote. But, the “Blue Dog Democrats” and those in districts won by McCain could see their political careers flashing before their eyes and refused to vote on it before recess. As they headed home to meet with constituents, people started to read the massive bill, distill it down to bullet points and distribute it on the internet. You can read a synopsis of HR3200 at: http://www.lc.org/. The whole thing is online if you have the time and inclination (and a couple of lawyer friends). As people read the thing with deep misgivings already over the quick accumulation of massive debt (five times larger than Bush’s biggest) and concern over the sagging economy, they started to rebel. Huge numbers of angry voters began turning up at politician’s town hall meetings. The Dem leaders responded and with the assistance of the MSM began calling these citizens “un-American, “Nazis” and a “mob”. Harry Reid called them “astroturfers”. This is a time-honored technique of the Left: accusing your opponents of the dirty tricks you yourself employ. Consider the irony that it was Obama’s campaign manager, David Alexrod who perfected the Astroturf Strategy and coined the term.



The Democrats then immediately called out ACORN and union thugs to disrupt and dominate the protests. George Soros donated $5 million to help the reform effort and the pharmaceutical industry agreed to kick in $150 million in exchange for restraint by the White House in pushing for drug price controls. Someone should remind the CEOs of the pharma industry about the story of the frog making the deal with the scorpion for a ride across the river.



With support for reform slipping badly in the polls and Obama’s popularity with it, BHO decided to go into campaign mode, confident that his charm would turn the tide. Obama sufferers from the ego driven conviction that he can fool most of the people most of the time, especially when protected by the likes of ABC, NBC, Time, etal. Thus, he feels no need for restraint in telling untruths. He’s told some whoppers lately. For example, he stated he was not in favor of a “single payer system”. Unfortunately, he was caught on tape a couple of times during the campaign saying the exact opposite. In the early going he said the purpose of health care reform was to contain costs. The CBO came out with an estimate that the cost of this thing will be about one trillion dollars. He told an audience during his own “town hall” that AARP had endorsed the bill and the next day AARP denied it. He said there would be no rationing, Medicare would not be cut and that there would be no bureaucrats deciding to terminate treatment for seniors. If you check out the link on HR3200 above you will quickly find that all of those statements are ….. Well, lies. Despite a protective press, people are catching on that you cannot trust this guy.
The take over of the health care system in the US has never been about containing cost, covering the uninsured or improving health services. Some 85% of Americans are happy with the health care system. (Ironically, 88% of Canadians, who have a single payer system, say they would prefer to go to the US for their health care than receive it in Canada.)



As pointed out by Mark Steyn in a “National Review” piece entitled “Dependence Day” (July 20, 2009) that 45 million uninsured number is BS. One fifth, he says, are not Americans (illegals would be covered under the proposal), Medicare covers another fifth, two fifths are young and don’t care because they will live forever and the other fifth are wealthy and choose to self-insure.



The take over of the health care system by government is purely about power and control. It will, as Steyn points out, insure that once implemented, left of center governments will prevail forever. The UK and Canada, both with single payer systems provide a perfect example for, however imperfect, it becomes the proverbial third rail of politics. It has the power of life or death over citizens and they are fearful of attempts to cut services further.



Then too, the British National Health Service has 1.4 million employees in a nation 1/3 the size of the US. This massive bureaucracy that has more managers than doctors, wields considerable political clout. If you look at the huge new bureaucracy that HR3200 proposes to administer nearly every aspect of citizens personal and financial lives, you can see where Obama plans to create employment and, Democrat voters.



Perhaps the most frightening aspect of this monster is the intrusion into the freedoms of Americans. Steyn states that: “A government-directed medical system can be used to justify almost any restraint on freedom.” He points out that smokers in Manchester, England have been refused treatment for heart disease and obese people in Suffolk told they are ineligible for hip and knee replacement. When you turn over decisions for your health care to a bureaucrat with instructions to cut costs, your individual needs get tossed out the window. A headline in yesterday’s “Vancouver Sun” proclaimed that due to cost issues several thousand surgeries had been cancelled and hundreds of health care workers laid off. Too bad, folks.



I am at a loss to predict where this thing will go. The Democrats might ram it through thinking they will never have another chance like this one. They might calculate that losses in the 2010 election are acceptable and that since the law would not actually kick in until 2013 that people will have forgotten and Obama can get re-elected in 2012 while retaining control of the Senate. On the other hand, they might decide to try to modify the plan to get some Republican support for a compromise. Right now they are losing serious support among seniors and independents and those groups make the difference in elections… especially if they turn out in large numbers. Obama, Pelosi and Reid have tremendous egos and are drunk with power. They might well decide to say the Hell with the public and cram it through.



If the idea of turning over your life to the government does not appeal to you it might be time to get off your ass and do something. Contact your representative, email everyone you know, attend a town hall meeting or write a letter to the editor. If you’re happy with the idea of a government bureaucrat coming into your home and telling you how to raise your kids or what to eat, or that “Sorry Mrs. Jones, that surgery you need is not available at this time because of budget cuts”, do nothing. Your choice. Good luck.

Pay Jump

I could never figure out why the Navy refused to pay us for the three hazard duties for which we qualified. It was also never clear why they excluded diving, the most dangerous of the lot, especially when swimming pure oxygen re-breathers in the middle of the night in the open ocean. Apparently the bean counters had never heard of the crappy Emerson re-breather rigs we often swam that frequently leaked and caused guys to pass out. (The German made Draegers were far superior but we couldn’t buy new ones and had to cannibalize parts to keep them running.)

They paid us for working with explosives (they didn’t call it underwater demolition for grins) and for parachuting. The former pay started right after Hell Week when we began playing with these fun toys on the beach at Little Creek. Hazard pay for parachuting came after we got back from Army jump school. They paid us $110 per month hazard pay for each and that came within $2.88 of doubling my meager Ensign base pay. The enlisted guys only got $55/mo. for each. Never understood that either. The only stipulation was that we had to work with explosives and make one parachute jump each month. We could always find a way to get the explosive business taken care of, but when we were deployed at sea getting an aircraft to make the parachute jump presented problems. These usually hastily arranged and down to the wire parachute drops we called “pay jumps”.

When we pulled into Toulon, France in the summer of 1966 aboard the USS Casa Grande our platoon was in serious need of a pay jump. Our Platoon CO, Pablo Zimmerman, one of the finest finaglers I have ever known, somehow convinced a Navy CH-46 supply helicopter to devote a morning to a parachute drop. Some sketchy arrangements were negotiated for us to jump into a grass strip auxiliary airfield near Toulon. We all grabbed our parachutes and gear and crammed into the chopper for the short hop to the field where some confused discussion took place between Pierre Ponson, the only guy in the platoon who spoke fluent French, and some French military guys. Nobody knew what was discussed but the winds were light and the time tight so we cut that confab short and boarded the chopper.

The normal procedure for these jumps is to pop some colored smoke on the ground to show the wind direction. The smoke showed light winds blowing from east to west at maybe 6 knots. Pas de problem. The next step would be to drop a streamer, a long ribbon with a light weight to see where that went so that adjustments could be made for the exit point. They lost sight of the streamer and decided to go directly to the next step since time, as I said, was tight. The next step involved jumping one guy out of the aircraft to see where he lands so that further adjustments can be made for the rest of the jumpers. This guy, for obvious reasons, is called the “wind dummy” and by custom falls to the lowest ranking or most expendable member of the Team…. in this case, me. Since I was the APO (Assistant Platoon Officer) I was not the lowest ranking. However, I rang the bell as the most expendable. (It must also be said that this was something of a tradition in Third Platoon.)

Pierre held the position of jumpmaster for our platoon and had little experience. The joke around the Teams was that if Pierre had the job of JM for the day that you should make sure you had some change in your pocket. The theory being: you would likely land so far from the drop zone you would need to call someone to give you a ride back. Pierre went on to spend 30 years in the Teams and become the head of the parachute program. Great guy.

The CH-46 had a gate that dropped down from the upward sloping tail creating a nice flat platform like a wide diving board. Standing on the edge of the thing with my hand braced against the overhead, I had a 270-degree view of the forest and airfield 3000 feet below. Kind of a weird feeling. Pierre slapped me on the ass and I launched myself into space.

When you jump out of an airplane, especially a military aircraft, you generally have over 100 knots of forward speed to assist in opening the parachute. Not so when you jump out the back door of a chopper. You plummet like a dropped rock off a tall building and you get a few extra seconds of that stomach clenching feeling of acceleration before the chute finally opens. My parachute popped open with a gratifying jolt to my harness and I swung gently beneath that beautiful green canopy as I looked around to orient myself.

We had recently been outfitted with the new T-10M (M for maneuverable) parachutes. They had an oval cut out of the back of the canopy through which air spilled, giving you about 5 knots of forward speed. Pulling down on one set of risers distorted the opening and turned the canopy in that direction. Thus, you could steer the thing and when landing, head into the wind and reduce the backward speed by the 5 knots. Of course, if you landed downwind you added 5 knots to the wind speed and could create some bone crunching collisions with Mother Earth.

I quickly discovered that the winds aloft were running at 90 degrees different from the smoke on the ground. It was also quite clear that they were blowing some 45 knots faster. Even facing the wind my measly 5 knots now had me drifting backwards at 40. Looking down between my feet I could see that I had already left the airfield far behind and now raced over dense forest with very large trees. I looked down to see if I still had my survival knife strapped to my leg. Yep, still there. Then I thought that cutting yourself loose while hanging in a 100 ft tree may not be the wisest solution to what looked like an inevitable “tree jump”, and one a couple of miles from the drop zone at that.

When I got down to about 750 feet the wind suddenly abated and I had control of the parachute again. I started looking around for a small tree to land in and spotted a clearing with scattered small trees. Great! I turned and headed for the clearing. I then spotted two soldiers in full combat gear with automatic weapons running toward my clearing. “Hmmm?” I wondered if these guys, who were clearly not US troops, had gotten the word that we were making a friendly little pay jump here. Then I thought maybe I’d drifted far enough to be in some secret installation. No time to think that through, I was landing regardless.

I turned the parachute into the wind for the landing at about 100 feet and the two troopers stopped, raised their automatic weapons and opened fire on full auto. My first thought was “Shit, I’m dead.” My second thought just before I piled into the ground was, “How did they miss me?” As my chute collapsed over a tree about 12 feet tall the two soldiers approached with their weapons aimed at me menacingly. Since I was a bit alarmed (just a bit) I had forgotten the few French phrases I knew. Asking for a beer or a cup of coffee probably would not have been appropriate. Come to think of it, asking where the toilet was would have fit the picture perfectly. (Let the record show I did NOT piss my pants.) I had my hands up. No Hollywood Steven Segal shit of going for my 4” survival knife with two heavily armed dudes standing 10 feet away. I pointed to my US Navy insignia and said, “US Navy. Friends. NATO. And, irrationally, “pay jump”.

They started laughing and jabbering in French. One of the guys walked over, opened the breech of his rifle showing me he had been firing blanks. Well, that explained how they missed me. They helped me pull my chute down from the tree and as I stuffed it into my parachute bag I heard more auto weapons fire. Three more of our guys landed near me with the same reception. Obviously, Pierre did not learn anything from his wind dummy’s trip into the enchanted forest. As I imagined various forms of torture for Pierre and considered the long walk thru the woods to the drop zone, one of the soldiers decided to help out by handing me my reserve chute. Regrettably, he picked it up by the rip cord handle instead of the carry handle and the spring loaded reserve exploded all over the grass. He stood there staring at the ripcord and said, “Voila!” Indeed.

I managed to stuff the deployed reserve in the bag with my main chute and started the long walk back to the drop zone. The teammates that had joined me on the march and I had plenty of time to plan some diabolical payback for Pierre.

Note: We later discovered when we did a joint exercise with the French Commandos Marine that we had stumbled into a war game between the French army and the Commandos Marine with our little “pay jump”.

Dictator For A Day – Part II

If you did not read Part I you’re going to have some difficulty figuring out what I am doing here. You can probably guess what you need to do now.

Rising from my brief nap I am a little fuzzy so I will take on a rather simple issue: the dollar coin. Most countries that I have visited have one, two and even five dollar (equivalent) coins. The reason for this is quite simple. Paper money wears out many times faster than coins and who wants to carry a wad of paper singles in their pocket? In my youth we called this a “Michigan bankroll”… a big wad of bills, all singles. The US has made several attempts at introducing a dollar coin: the Susan B. Anthony dollar, the Sacagawea dollar and now the Presidential dollar. [Not to mention the Eisenhower dollar (1971-1978), Peace dollar (1921-1935), Morgan dollar (1878-1904; 1921), Trade Dollar (1873-1885), Gold dollar coins (1849-1889), Seated Liberty dollar (1836-1873), The 1804 dollar, and the silver dollar coins from 1794 to 1803. This dollar coin business is a failure more than 200 years in the making. --ed.] All have failed for one simple reason: the government refuses to simultaneously remove the paper dollar from circulation. Several years ago the Canadian government introduced the two-dollar coin (the one dollar coin, having the image of a Common Loon on the back side is often called the "Loonie"; similarly, the two dollar coin is fondly referred to as the “Twonie”). The banks pulled all paper two-dollar notes out of circulation when they came in and within two weeks all the paper notes were gone. I’d immediately have the Treasury stamp out millions of one-dollar coins and have the banks pull the paper bills. While I’m at it, I’d have them create a two-dollar coin. Maybe the Bill Clinton coin?

The War on Drugs: Started during the Nixon Administration in the ‘70s and expanded ever since, you would have to agree that the war has been lost. My criterion for this is quite simple: if any high school kid in North America can get any drug he wants in 24 hours (and he can), then I’d say you’re pissing up wind and getting your shoes wet.

The Feds spend some $20 billion annually on the effort and the states spend another $30 billion, almost all for enforcement. This does not include the costs of prosecution and imprisonment of offenders. Half of all the people in Federal prisons are there because of drug offenses and 17% for crimes committed to get cash for drugs. Officials anticipate that in 2009 over 1,841,000 people will be arrested on drug offenses. In 2007 there were 872,000 arrests for cannabis violations alone. In 1986, during the Reagan Administration, a mandatory minimum was enacted for drug offenders. As a result the average sentence for drug offenders is 75.6 months while violent criminals serve an average of 63 months. (Figures from War on Drugs Clock and an article by Christina Gleason).

Dan Gardner of the “Ottawa Citizen” has written an excellent series on the drug issue and points out that there is no relationship between the cost of production and the retail price for drugs because of the “risk cost” to the industry, including the need to corrupt judges, police and government officials. Many users could continue to function in society and not resort to crime to support their habit if the cost were not so out of whack.

So, for my first big pronouncement after lunch I would legalize all drugs (except crystal meth). They could be imported (or home grown) and sold like liquor i.e. Taxed and confirmed for quality. This would quickly destroy the illegal market for drugs and all the violence and graft that goes with it. Druggies would be able to pick up clean needles and that would require rescinding the Federal ban on needle exchanges. Dirty needles cause some 4000 new cases of HIV/AIDs each year that cost $618,000 each for a lifetime of treatment.

Next I would release from prison all except the violent drug offenders. The dealers could not re-offend because the market for their services no longer existed. Clearly, this would free up lots of prison space to hang on to the real dangerous predators to society like rapists, murders, pedophiles and various scumbags. It would also allow the ATF and the FBI to concentrate on potential terrorists and man the border to stop illegal immigration. Not happy with this? Sorry, I’m Dictator today.

Potty and liquid refreshment break.

Energy independence: This is another old saw begun during the Nixon Administration in the ‘70s. The result: the US has gone from about 16% imported oil to around 60% with the US sending some $700 billion annually to countries that hate us. The solution is to drill offshore and in Alaska and to exploit the tar sands in the West. This morning I added a $.50 tax on gasoline and would mandate that another $.50 be added in five years. I would also reduce the tax on diesel to make it less than the tax on gasoline, and tell the UAW to pound sand and allow the import of low cost high mileage diesel cars from Europe or South America. While were at it, might as well eliminate the CAFÉ standards for gas mileage. (Good piece on this in the 6/22/2009 “National Review”).

To keep the cost of electricity down I would immediately authorize the construction of 20 nuclear plants and open Yucca Mountain repository for nuclear waste. To do the drilling and building of nuke plants it would be necessary to pull the teeth of the well funded environmental groups and their cadres of lawyers. So, I’d cancel the “citizen lawsuit” provisions of environmental laws and subject proposed drilling and plant building to a commission of scientists and business leaders. I would also make environmental groups taxable entities and donations to such groups subject to a 20% tax. To be fair I would extend those provisions to all the many K Street lobbying groups. Unless there is a serious issue… let the drilling and building begin. The sale of drilling leases and the royalties resulting from all the new wells would be a great revenue source for states and the Federal government. Clean up of any oil spills would, of course, be the responsibility of the drilling companies.

Time for a cigar. All this Dictating has me restless.

The cutting of taxes, reining in of the lawyers and providing cheap energy would certainly bring in massive amounts of investment capital from around the world and result in rapid economic growth. As always, the lower rates would bring in increased revenues for the government. However, there would be a lag, so spending must be cut substantially. Anyway, government is too big, too expensive and redundant. The federal government employs 1.8 million civilians plus another 785,000 at the beloved post office. I’d put an immediate freeze on all hiring. For the USPS, I’d let any business deliver the mail and let the post office go out of business.

I eliminated the Education Department this morning, but there’s lots more low hanging fruit that I want to pick off right away. The Drug Enforcement Agency for example. I legalized drugs so this group is now unnecessary. As Ronald Reagan observed, “The Department of Energy has never produced a single barrel of oil or a lump of coal.” I’d eliminate 90% of the Dept. of Energy and transfer the remaining 10% over to Interior to keep track of energy. That leaves the Departments of Agriculture, Interior, Commerce, Labor, Treasury, Vets Affairs, State, Transportation, Homeland Security, Health and Human Services, Housing and Urban Development and Defense. Except for Defense, I would appoint a commission of businessmen to combine functions, eliminate employees and streamline operations such that the cost of government would be reduced by 50% in five years. With the aggressive growth of the economy there will be plenty of job opportunities for these federal employees in the private sector.

While we’re in the cutting mode, let’s have my “Efficiency Commission” go through the budget and eliminate corporate welfare, farm subsidies, funding of NPR, the NEA, ACORN and all other groups not considered a Federal function. For Congress, no more tacking on earmarks legislation to build a bike path or airport in your district. Absolute no-no, boys.

Social Security: This Ponzi scheme makes Madoff look like a two bit thief. First off, I’d forbid Congress from spending the money put into the SS Trust Fund. I guess I’d first have to set up the fund since it doesn’t exist. Having former illegal workers now covered under the Guest Worker program and paying taxes will help but, social security needs to stop hemorrhaging money by sending checks to drunks, druggies and immigrants who never worked in the US. There will be plenty of money left over at the end of the War on Drugs to weed out the undeserving. I would also let people opt out of the system on the terms of the Republican proposal of a few years back.

Medicare: This is a black hole that needs to be closed and a very difficult task. Unlikely to be fixed by the Dictator today. I have already given doctors relief from medical malpractice and that will help. I would also let people set up medical savings accounts, make medical insurance available across state lines and make it portable when workers change employers. Self-employed people would be able to deduct insurance premiums and able to buy at group rates through associations. Free medical care would not be denied illegal aliens in emergency situations but they would be immediately deported when mobile.

Welfare: Another difficult and long standing problem unfixable by single pronouncements. First, no illegals should be collecting welfare. That’s an insult to honest taxpayers. Same goes for otherwise able-bodied individuals and there will be plenty of jobs available in the rapidly expanding economy.

Justice: I would immediately expand the Supreme Court to 15 justices and appoint 6 new jurists that believe in the Constitution and not legislating from the bench.

And finally, as the day draws to a close, I would pronounce that none of my Dictator Mandates could be changed for 10 years.

Time for a beer. That’s enough for one day.

Note: One of my three faithful readers suggested I tackle the Media in this piece. I decided not to because: 1. Freedom of the press, and 2. The media is comprised of private businesses and should succeed or fail by their own hand. People are already getting frustrated by the biased liberalism of the MSM and their drooling, slavish support of Obama. They are turning off network news and canceling their subscriptions to left leaning newspapers (the NYT, Boston Globe and others are on life support. CBS just reported the lowest ratings ever for their evening news program. Ever.). When citizens fully realize the impact of BHO’s policies and global warming is finally exposed for the massive hoax that it is, the MSM will pay a heavy price. In other words, they don’t need any help from me.